theriotbefore.com

Don’t you think it’s funny how people don’t trust the weather when it’s warm in the middle of winter? It’s 60 degrees outside but people are still walking around in their heavy winter coats, just unzipped. Silly people.

Speaking of silly people, this is Freddy.

That’s not actually his real name, but he responds to it anyway. Ask him why people call him Freddy. It’s a moderately entertaining story. Here’s the thing about Freddy, he’s really into coming up with hypothetical situations, like completely ridiculous ones, and then treating them with utter sincerity. Sometimes the rest of us get sucked into this too (see the Spiders vs. Nazis post). Somewhere in Florida it occurred to me that these questions of Freddy’s shouldn’t be forgotten, they were just too amazing to not be preserved for posterity, like the constitution or pudding (I one time stumbled across a twenty-five year old can of Del-Monte brand chocolate pudding and ate it…. still good). Since I didn’t start documenting these until late in the tour and since I try to keep this journal relatively PG, I don’t have a plethora of example just yet, but these are a good start.

1. “Would you rather be licked to death or hit by a car?”

2. Upon leaving Whataburger somewhere outside of Gainesville, “What would you do if the van was made of Chocolate?”

My response was complete silence as I pictured trying to sit in a chocolate van, melting in the warm Florida sun. Freddy answered his own question with, “I’d probably take a bite of it.”

3. “What would you do if you found out your best friend was a terminator? ” Followed by, “What would you do if you found out your girlfriend was a terminator? ”

I was laughing too hard and focusing too much on writing this down to pay attention to the answers given. I’m sure they were absurd.

4. “Garrett,” who likes getting tickled about as much as cats like taking baths, “would you rather get punched in the face once every hour or tickled for four straight hours?”

Garrett chose to get punched, which I guess means that you can punch him in the face as long as you justify it with, “It was either that or tickling you.”

5. “Would you rather dry yourself off with cotton balls or toilet paper?”

I’m not sure about the context on this one, though both Freddy and I did have to dry ourselves off with paper towels once after showering…not together by the way.

6. The following isn’t so much a question as it is just a hypothetical thought, but it’s too good not to be listed here.

“If you were made out of metal but you couldn’t breathe under water, that would suck because if you tried to swim you’d sink and drown.”

This was followed by an extensive discussion about what, beyond swimming, a ten thousand pound metal man could or couldn’t do. Like, you know, ice skating would definately be out of the question.

These are all examples of what happens when you spend a good portion of your day sitting idly inside a van. It’s sad really, the way the brain deterioates so quickly in the van, though I guess it’s not as bad as watching an episode of “My Super Sweet 16″ or something, but it’s still tragic.

I’ll post more hypothetical questions and scenarios as they come (because I can guarantee that there will be more).

Maybe the climate around here gave up Winter for Lent?

I’m giving up not owning the new Explosions in the Sky album for Lent.

Brett

I’m really bad at writing the last blog of tour. It’s a lot like unpacking after a long trip in that way that it’s not really all that much work but you avoid it anyway, preferring to watch TV instead. It’s not that the last few days of tour weren’t worthy of being written about, it’s just that I am a lazy guy who has spent most of the last few days watching Arrested Development and The Office on DVD.
I’m just going to go ahead and offer and recap of our last four days.
First off, we played all those shows with Endless Mike and the Beagle Club and they simply amazed and inspired me every night. I can’t remember ever looking forward to repeatedly watching a band play as much as I anticipated their set every night. I can’t recommend them enough, seriously. You can listen to their entire record (and read the lyrics) on their purevolume.com page. Do it.

That said, the second night we played in Richmond at what may have been the most fun show this band has played. The Bonezone was packed and everyone had a great time. Thanks to everyone who came out and made it fun.

The last show was at Charm City Art Space in Baltimore, and despite being on a Sunday afternoon, there was a pretty good turnout. The guys in South Cary hooked it up and put on a great show (three nights in a row really). Those dudes are incredibly nice and dedicated to music and the punk scene like no one else. The passion they put into music is evident in their entire set and if you get a chance, definitely check them out. The Guns and Roses drumbeats don’t hurt either.

After the show we headed over to the bar next door that had some sort of thing for refracted light, because they just couldn’t get enough of rainbow decorations. My guess is that the bar was for physicists or fans of the biblical flood story or something. Nevertheless, the drinks were cheap, the people nice, and there was a free buffet. It was delicious. After eating way too much and not really watching any football, we said our goodbyes to South Cary and Endless Mike (both of whom we will play with towards the end of our next tour!) and headed home, back home and work.

We’re driving down to Athens, GA to record an EP next week. I’ll try to update this a little while we’re doing that.

You’re all neat.

Brett